F-bomb Dimension Neptunia
by Steelix100
Summary: Warning: Contains copious amounts of cursing. Dumb joke story I wrote over the course of an hour on a whim basically, plus another hour to clean up the writing into something readable. Um... enjoy? Or at least try to.


Once upon a time there was a dumbass named Neptune and she was fucking retarded. Then this bitch named Histy showed up and was all like "Yo fucking Neptune what the fuck stop being fucking a fuck and fucking FUCK some fucking monsters," but Neptune replied with "Fuck you Histy I fucking do what I fucking want," and then ordered 20 tons of pudding from Amazoo.

"What the FUCK is fucking WRONG with you Neptune," snapped Histy. Nepgear showed up and was all like, "I dunno I don't see anything wrong with it."

"Fuck you Nepgear," Histy snapped. This made Nepgear really sad so she left the Basilicom and never came back ever again. But Neptune didn't care because her pudding came in and she was very happy. Histy, however, was really sad because Neptune was being fucking retarded (as per usual) and Nepgear, the only competent one within a 1000 meter radius, was nowhere to be found, so she said, "Fuck this I quit," and went to the nearest bar and drank 100 pounds of vodka and got liver cancer.

Later, Compa found Histy passed out on a curb somewhere and pouted, "Oh no, you poor angel, who did this to you?" And Histy replied in earnest: "FUCK."

Compa took Histy to the hospital and put her on life support.

Meanwhile, Neptune, who is retarded, was still eating her 20 tons of pudding when she suddenly thought, "Gee, I sure do wonder where the FUCK Nep Jr. and Histy are, " but since she's retarded she just keeps eating pudding. Then Noire broke into her home and shouted, "Hey bitch-face I found your dog."

"Oh yeah, well, you have no friends," Neptune retorted.

"WELL, I NEVER!" Noire scoffed, picked up Neptune's dog, and instead of leaving it at Neptune's doorstep, like she was going to, just fucking left.

After she left, Neptune realized, "Wait fuck was that Nepgear Noire had with her?" And yes it was but she was in a maid outfit with thigh highs, don't ask why.

* * *

Noire got home and Uni greeted her with "Onee-chan welcome FUCKING back!" But Noire responded with "Don't you fucking talk to fucking me like that you fucking fuck why aren't you perfect yet." To which Uni replied, "because guns," and pointed a light machine gun at Noire. So Noire was like, "Holy fucking FUCK Uni fucking FUCK don't you fucking FUCK that fucking SHIT at me or else I'm gonna take away your Nepgear," and Nepgear whined. But Uni said "Fuck you onee-chan, I'm sick of your shit. I'll fuck you up and elope with Gear-chan," and Nepgear barked.

"OK, fuck you then." Noire said angrily, and she turned into Black Hat.

Uni said, "Fuck you too, too." and turned into Black Sister.

Black Sister shot her light machine gun at Black Hat and Black Hat was like, "THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME?!" and deflected all 2000 bullets with her sword. The bullets bounced off the sword and all the walls and her ass and hit Nepgear and she died.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo," cried Uni.

"See, you fucking motherFUCK, this is fucking what fucking happens when you fucking be dumb and not perfect now go back to your fucking homework," Noire scowled, turning back into her regular forme. Unichan also turned back into regular forme and pouted, "Okay, mom," and went back to her room and did her fucking homework which was make a good cosplay.

"All is right in the world," affirmed Noire, and she also went back to her homework which was also make a good cosplay. And Nepgear, who was dead, was still laying in the doorway. She didn't move, because she was dead, but she did bark.

Then Neptune opened the door and shouted, "NOBODY FUCKING EXPECTS THE SPANISH NEPTUNE!" while wearing a sombrero.

"HEY NOIRE, I CAME TO GET MY DOG BACK!" the dumbass added. She glanced at her feet and noticed Nepgear's corpse and was like, "Fuck," then went home.

Noire showed up, after Neptune left, and cried out, "Wait! Neptune, come back! I want you to have my babies!" Neptune wasn't there, but Nepgear was, and she barked. "Shut up, Nepgear," said Noire.

And Nepgear stopped barking forevermore.

* * *

In the hospital, Histy was on her fucking deathbed with Compa sitting next to her.

"FUCK MY ASS COMPA FUCK THIS FUCKING FUCK I FUCKING HATE IT FUCK IT ALL GIVE ME SOME FUCKING VODKA!" Histy screeched.

But Compa just said, "You poor poopy-poo, don't be so sad, but no more booze for you, because you'll die."

"Fuck you I do what I want. I'm sick of Neptune's SHIT, I QUIT Nepgear keeps fucking asking me to take her out on a MOTHERFUCKING WALK and then fucking FUCK and dumb fuck but then FUCK-" and eventually just broke down into an endless string of fucks while Compa patted her gently. Eventually, Histy calmed down and went to sleep.

Suddenly, IF drove her bike through the wall, making the wall explode, and Compa screamed because that was actually pretty fucking loud but Histy didn't wake up somehow from all the noise.

IF screamed, "HISTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU, FUCK!" Compa shushed her, "Be quiet, my child, she's sleeping." she said.

IF looked over at Histy, and said "Actually, she's fucking dead." And Histy was dead.

So, Compa said,

"Fuck."

* * *

Meanwhile, in the Basilicom of Leanbox, Vert was busy shitposting on 4chan. But Vert was sad because she didn't have a harem, so Vert posted on 4chan, "yo guys can somebody ship me a harem im p. lonely"

Some anon responded, "yeah dude no problem just write in your credit card info and i'll ship you one for just 2 million pounds"

Dumbass Vert posted her credit card info on 4chan and Leanbox instantly went bankrupt. One instant later, Chika enters Verts room and asks, "Mi amor verde, what the fuck, where did all the fucking money go?" Vert replied, "lol i bought a harem on 4chan #yolo" Chika shook her head and scowled, "Fucking, you fucking dumbfuck verde, your bitch ass just fucking got scammed now our entire nation is gonna explode in 20 minutes because we have no money."

So Vert was like, "waht the fuck but it was on 4chan it's gotta be true" and Chika spanked her ass.

Then Vert said, "well fuck, now the entire nation is gone, now what to do"

Chika yelled manically, "WELL, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING WAITING FOR?! PACK YOUR FUCKING ASS, WE'RE HIGHTAILING IT WE STILL HAVE LIKE 18 MINUTES LEFT YOU FUCKING DUMB FUCK ASS FUCKER!" Vert went into a panic and tried to pack all her BL doujins into her 69 suitcases but they didn't fit because she had way too fucking many of them and so she was like, "what the FUCK why can't i hold all this BL" and Chika replied, "Because your fucking boobs are too fucking big, fuck you, leave those shits, you don't need them, you fucking assdumb."

16 minutes later they still weren't finished packing because Vert was being a fucking dumbass and Chika was about to fucking leave her ass. She opened the door to leave, but there was a delivery guy standing there and he greeted her, "Hello, is this the Vert residence?" and Chika was like, "WHOMST THE FUCK?!" The delivery guy just carried on, "Yes, I am here to deliver this package to some bitch named Vert, it's right here," and motioned behind him where there was a box the size of a house wrapped in wrapping paper. The box opened itself and out came a harem of 1000 girls and they all molested Vert and Vert was all like, "this is fine"

Then Leanbox exploded and they aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall died.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Lowee Blanc was beating Rom and Ram for being fucking little fuckers because that's what they fucking do.

"FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCKFACES WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS FUCKING WRONG WITH FUCKING YOU FUCKING TWATS YOU FUCKING FUCKS WHY THE FUCKING FUCK WOULD YOU FUCKING DO THAT YOU FUCKING FUCK FUCKS" she roared as she beat their asses with a leather belt. Ram whined, "Wow, what the fuck, I'm calling child protective services. This is fucking illegal, you bitch!" Rom just cried because that's what she does 24/7.

But Blanc bellowed, "OH FUCKING FUCK YOU FUCKING DON'T I FUCKING AM THE FUCKING LAW." But Ram did it anyways, and the police came and arrested Blanc. Rom just cried because that's what she does 24/7.

"WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING FUCK IM FUCKING GOD HOW FUCKING DARE YOU FUCKS YOU FUCKING CANT A-FUCKING-RREST ME!" Blanc screamed, and Rom just cried because that's what she does 24/7.

The police replied with "Well, first of all you little motherfucker, fuck you. Second of all, you little motherfucker, fuck you. Third of all, you little motherfucker, you can't do that to fucking kids. Goddess or no, you're fucking going to jail," and Rom just cried because that's what she does 24/7.

The police threw Blanc in a jail cell and she was never ever heard from ever again. Upon seeing this, Mina thought aloud, "Aww shit nigga, now them kids are gonna do what the fucking ever they fucking ever wanna do," and Ram grinned evilly and Rom just cried because that's what she does 24/7. Ram rammed Mina's ass and Mina squealed, "FUCK, YOU FUCKING FUCK," and Rom set Mina's coat on fire and also cried because that's what she does 24/7.

Mina ran out screaming because her coat was on fire and so was she and rolled around in the Lowee snow until she wasn't on fire anymore. She never came back to the Basilicom after that but at least she didn't die. Ram high fived Rom and Rom just cried because that's what she does 24/7.

Then they said to each other, "Well that was pretty satisfying, but now what the fuck do we do? Run a nation? We're only like 12, how'm I supposed t'do that? HOW'M I SUPPOSED T'DO THAT?" And so Rom cried because that's what she does 24/7.

So they were like, "Actually, fuck this, I'm out," and they left the Basilicom forever. As a result, Lowee endured chaos without any godesses leading it for 200 years. After that time period a new leader set up a democratic constitution that states that a new leader is selected by the people every 4 years and also every man is free to do whatever the fuck he wants, as long as he's not brown.

* * *

But back to the present day where Rom and Ram left Lowee forever, they decided to go to Planeptune and fuck with Neptune and her dog. When they got to the Basilicom, they found Neptune outside, laying on a giant vat of pudding, unmoving. Ram asked, "Yo, dumb fuck, what the fuck are you fucking doing there, you fuck?"

"I am depressed," Neptune replied, "My dog is dead and so is that annoying bitch that kept telling me to do shit that wasn't eating pudding, actually now that I think about it, fuck that bitch, but I'm still sad that my dog is dead." And Rom just cried because that's what she does 24/7. So Ram was like, "Haha, wow, dumbass, you fuck. Hey bitch-bitch watch this shit, you dumb popsicle." Then she threw a single dog turd into the vat of pudding and Neptune screamed a horrible scream.

"How am I supposed to live my life with no pudding, no dog, and no annoying bitch fairy?" she sobbed.

Rom said, "Well, it's just one turd, you can probably take it out and the rest of your pudding will be fine," and also cried because that's what she does 24/7, but Neptune said, "Nay, bitch, this shit fucking gone," and held her breath until she died, but that dumb bitch didn't know you can't commit suicide that way, so she just passed out normally instead and Rom just cried because that's what she does 24/7.

Then Rom went to the fridge in the Basilicom and replaced all the food inside (which was all pudding) with egpplants. As she did it she cried because that's what she does 24/7.

The end because I give up.


End file.
